The loop messages have been playing at high quality, as though a layer has been sloughed off, leaving programming clearly exposed. This time, it isn’t a critical voice, but an even more constant beat, surely affecting the rhythm patterns of movements and breath overall. I hadn’t realized this further layer before, perhaps because when IContinue reading “New Tricks”
Tag Archives: writing
The Rest
I’m surprised! It’s been over a week since I wrote the previous entry, during which time I’ve listened to several Vajrayana related audio books–a few multiple times. Not all the lessons (mostly talks given during retreats) hit me the way Bliss of Inner Fire did, but understanding feels to have taken a leap, integrating theContinue reading “The Rest”
Promptings
Much of today was spent pacing, not bodily, but in my mind, going over and over the state of the world, circling around the same points over and over again, watching tiktok videos so as not to feel alone. It occurs to me that I often spend the first days of any crisis this way,Continue reading “Promptings”
just this day
Making resolutions seems a mere coping mechanism. Maybe it is coping mechanisms all the way down. 9:30 AM and I determine to write every morning–determine to write to get into the right mindset. What about writing “one beautiful thing a day”? I consider. What about just going with the flow, moment to moment? Which willContinue reading “just this day”
On Mud and Lotuses
“When humans ascend they are still human. When humans descend they are still human.”-Heaven Official’s Blessing I can’t get enough of reading these days; the outwardness of the last few years, for better or worse, may have finally reached its fill. Just in time, work conversations have become book-swapping, friendships taking on new risks andContinue reading “On Mud and Lotuses”
Sacred Ordinary (TSK Journal – 6)
There is no 100% analogy, but one of the ideas I like to consider contemplatively is ‘outward’ life as a mirror of mind, and mind as a kind of petri-dish in which influences have a chance to interact. It does seem to me that although I can’t always choose the influences (I can choose some),Continue reading “Sacred Ordinary (TSK Journal – 6)”
Ghost Writer (TSK Journal – 5)
For the first time in several years, I am reading many books at once. Or at least, I’m dabbling in many while deeply reading few. Most are fiction, a few are activism-based, and then there is TSK. Some days I read furiously, as much as possible, as though digging tunnels to make an escape. Others,Continue reading “Ghost Writer (TSK Journal – 5)”
Stephanie is Disruptive (TSK Journal – 4)
[[I haven’t picked up the book for a few days, but continue musing on the feeling and notion of the the book itself, even closed(!), as a practice. Why, oh why, is the way I work with things so odd, when compared against what others describe!]] One of the few notes I have from childhoodContinue reading “Stephanie is Disruptive (TSK Journal – 4)”
TSK Journal – 1
Writing a memoir (which I’m doing as part of therapy/coaching) while studying TSK, is exceedingly strange, but also one of the most interesting things I’ve ever done. I’m fascinated by the way I reach for something that at first seems so tangible and sure, only for it to wiggle and change the closer I get.Continue reading “TSK Journal – 1”
true form
I’ve finally reached the point in therapy where we talk about present challenges. Although up to now there has been present application, such as talking about work life and not allowing mental “issues” to undo or undermine present intentions, almost always we end up back with childhood conditioning and trauma. We mostly acknowledge those things,Continue reading “true form”
~ Singing Gecko 