Psychological Doomscrolling

I may be toward the end of this stint in therapy. It’s a little hard to tell because, when doesn’t one need to feel heard? When doesn’t one need to hear themselves more clearly? But, I also don’t want to always be examining tendencies and unraveling patterns. There are times to just cut through. IContinue reading “Psychological Doomscrolling”

preoccupations

Body is getting ready to work at the store, second day back after a month’s leave. Mind hasn’t quite caught up; it floats like a balloon a little behind, working through the thousand half-teachings ingested while on break. To soothe mind, I suggest we lean into appreciation instead, let understanding tend to itself. Which jostlesContinue reading “preoccupations”

true form

I’ve finally reached the point in therapy where we talk about present challenges. Although up to now there has been present application, such as talking about work life and not allowing mental “issues” to undo or undermine present intentions, almost always we end up back with childhood conditioning and trauma. We mostly acknowledge those things,Continue reading “true form”

On the turning away…

Having drained my storehouse of podcasts while home during peak pandemic, I went searching and remembered Buddhist Geeks, a modern, techie philosophical podcast I let drop years ago, in favor of a more Vajrayana focus. They’re still going, talking about psychedelics a lot (which many seem to be doing, almost as much as bitcoin), butContinue reading “On the turning away…”

all the little things

When I came out of my first stint in therapy, I had the sense it had been a mere stepping stone to the higher way of meditation I’d begun practicing there. Whereas therapy would leave me drained and sad a lot of the time, contemplative study elevated my outlook and stirred innate playfulness. I laughedContinue reading “all the little things”

Variations on a Dream

I am walking from ‘the house’ toward the front gate on familiar chipped square tiles. I encounter three ferociously barking rottweilers. They are to the right of the path, in the part of the yard where one of the avocado trees rains down the largest leaves. I feel afraid. I wake. —– I am walkingContinue reading “Variations on a Dream”

The Singing Gecko – Part 2

Most adults with “serious responsibilities” find it hard to relax, to allow ourselves to open up and play with life. Perhaps that’s why we remember the moments in which we do so clearly. Having shared the early stages of my romance with awareness in Part 1, this tale becomes more fun. At some point IContinue reading “The Singing Gecko – Part 2”

Singing Gecko, Part 1

What I’m about to share is a whimsical little story about a pivot point in spiritual exploration which holds a sweet spot I’d like to convey. Curtain opens to a typical therapist’s office: wall of books, comfy sofa with a throw nearby, big wooden desk. Me, on that sofa, eyes darting back and forth, tissueContinue reading “Singing Gecko, Part 1”

elegant rags

The feeling of brush, paint, paper… stirs comfort, ease. Then Prisma makes the image shareable, muting colors that were too bright or didn’t mix as well, highlighting stroke detail… even imposing a few things I might have added with greater skill, or if I’d be using my preferred medium of oil. Acrylics dry so fast!Continue reading “elegant rags”