From Tuesday afternoon until Friday night, I slept, then Friday night through Sunday, attended an online (Dzogchen) retreat. Today, Monday, I’ve spent restless, neither sleeping nor awake, neither up nor down, watching snippets of things on my computer, half interested. I should be studying Spanish, but feel blurry-minded. [ Entry: The week of our Covid-19,Continue reading “enlightened (non)activity”
A strange thing has happened now that tossing and turning has fallen away from nighttime explorations; I find myself reliving alternate scenarios such as “What if married life with G had taken this turn?” Last night, I was the one working more, coming home to be shown our baby’s head lifting up with strength forContinue reading “wish-fulfilling dreams”
In line at the market, buying writing icing for the Congratulations cake we bought to mark successful getting of the big job by a family friend (intensive process they went through beforehand, getting a hotel to prep, for weeks, basically falling off-grid). An older gentleman looks back to ask if I’m in a hurry, gesturingContinue reading “gestures and thin moments”
I grew up within biking distance of Fairchild Tropical Gardens, a place ordinary to my childhood which I now consider sacred and a miracle—a refuge in a green-starved city. There are days I, without intention I recall, find myself sitting on a bench under these trees, snapping photos of shadows plays made by their branches,Continue reading “One Such Day”
There is not much simple about our times, nor is it easy to be satisfied with cute little stories about enlightened moments, when almost all of us are facing very difficult choices every day, dealing with those we love, and trying not to hate those seeing the world in very different ways from our own.
Have returned from a trip, and from writing elsewhere about the trip in a way that surprised even myself. It all just poured through like sunshine, first thing in the morning…
What I’m about to share is a whimsical little story about a pivot point in spiritual exploration which holds a sweet spot I’d like to convey. Curtain opens to a typical therapist’s office: wall of books, comfy sofa with a throw nearby, big wooden desk. Me, on that sofa, eyes darting back and forth, tissueContinue reading “Singing Gecko, Part 1”
Perhaps everyone has spots of luck in their life, some bright cards to play.
It must be quite hard for people who have not had to revisit much of their psychology, to understand those like me…
Although I usually feel fairly vulnerable in the world when I compare myself to others, or more so compare myself to the ideas my younger self had about what I might become…