New Tricks

The loop messages have been playing at high quality, as though a layer has been sloughed off, leaving programming clearly exposed. This time, it isn’t a critical voice, but an even more constant beat, surely affecting the rhythm patterns of movements and breath overall. I hadn’t realized this further layer before, perhaps because when IContinue reading “New Tricks”

I guess that’s why they call it the blues

Asian TV. I’m addicted. The dramas evoke emotion and meaning, so I haven’t been able to convince myself they lack value to my life and mind. Many are romantic, but not just; the dominant themes are ethics and chosen family, amidst backstories spanning multiple lifetimes. Distinct cultural paradigms. I love exploring different ways of thinkingContinue reading “I guess that’s why they call it the blues”

Ghost Writer (TSK Journal – 5)

For the first time in several years, I am reading many books at once. Or at least, I’m dabbling in many while deeply reading few. Most are fiction, a few are activism-based, and then there is TSK. Some days I read furiously, as much as possible, as though digging tunnels to make an escape. Others,Continue reading “Ghost Writer (TSK Journal – 5)”

appreciation practice

Warm sunlight streams through soft applause ~ Leaves and branches. An unidentifiable fragrance Sallies forth ~ On cool January winds. Inside, Sheer white curtains flutter ~ My thoughts too. Figs, pears, blueberries Fresh cream and ginger ~ Brightly green, popping peas. Alertly sitting on cushions of glistening rice ~ Evoking fields of water, and occasionalContinue reading “appreciation practice”

Variations on a Dream

I am walking from ‘the house’ toward the front gate on familiar chipped square tiles. I encounter three ferociously barking rottweilers. They are to the right of the path, in the part of the yard where one of the avocado trees rains down the largest leaves. I feel afraid. I wake. —– I am walkingContinue reading “Variations on a Dream”

The Blank Slate

As you see, bolder formatting is temporarily gone from this site. I’ve stripped it down while making changes, but also to symbolize my current state. In meditation this morning, the theme of faith arose. Unkind thoughts were present – an argument I’ve been having with someone for as long as I can remember… feelings ofContinue reading “The Blank Slate”

One Day

I’ve been rather (overly?) ‘thought’ful in my writing here of late. So much has been on my mind that I’m not sure whether or how to talk about, and until I am sure, I’ve decided to try to work it out in other ways. Retail work has been the most surprising of those ways… gettingContinue reading “One Day”

The way you sip your tea…

I’ve been working a lot since my grandfather died, keeping occupied, a la “Don’t look down.” It isn’t exactly his death which has been scary to me at some deep level, but what his stepping out of the way reveals about what remains… what a life might amount to and mean to others. Or not.Continue reading “The way you sip your tea…”

Onward.

The 16 year old car I’ve been sharing with my son has had it… its very latest expression of resistance being the driver’s side door, which only closes after a 5-part dance of pray, jiggle, shake, pull, and slam. This, on top of the finicky gas reader, the loud whistle just slightly different from theContinue reading “Onward.”

Winds

Deep loss is so revealing. Although through meditation practices and commitment to examined living/examined mind, it is possible to live with a great degree of open-awareness, nothing quite shows up ‘who you are’ like loss does. Thus I’ve found losing my grandfather to be a place of deep vulnerability, more like an inverted mountaintop thanContinue reading “Winds”