Integrating the Shadow

Often when I’ve written about Shadow Work, it has been from a defensive place. I hear the skeptical voices of some of my Buddhist friends and teachers in my mind, questioning my focus, especially whether it is downward looking rather than transmuting/transcendent. However, I think I may have misunderstood some of what they taught me;Continue reading “Integrating the Shadow”

No one wants to be enlightened

[[ P.S. Note: This post didn’t come close to expressing what I hoped it might. For one thing, it isn’t true that I don’t fit into community at all. Rather, I was speaking to various efforts to fit with specifically spiritual communities. For another, aspiration and ‘plans’, as though I think something is in myContinue reading “No one wants to be enlightened”

All the little things and past things

When I first came out of therapy years ago, I had the sense of it being merely a stepping stone to the higher way (meditation) I’d discovered within that self exploration. Whereas therapy would often leave me feeling drained and sad, resigned, meditation and contemplative study generally elevated my mood and stirred up innate playfulness.Continue reading “All the little things and past things”

Just visiting

A note stuck to my computer reads, “I hope you’re well, and that the new year will be kind to you.” It is a line that seems personal, as though taken from a longer letter, but was pulled from a 2010 contemplative workshop chat log. It was the start of 2020, and I’d been hurt.Continue reading “Just visiting”

Come to the dark side…

Fantastic interview up on the Waking Up app: The Dark Side of Meditation. I’ve listened twice so far, since I listen while multitasking, inevitably missing out on portions, but this topic rarely comes up (Let’s face it, in our day-to-day circles, there are already enough detractors, so who wants to fill the inspirational space withContinue reading “Come to the dark side…”

Asking and Answering

Although I originally subscribed to the newsletter How to Save the World because I was researching a project the writer was involved in, I came to appreciate his writing and sincerity. His awakening has felt to parallel mine at times: starting off with a strong desire to seed change in the world, then with deeperContinue reading “Asking and Answering”

Use your words

It matters to use our words, to let our voice be heard, no matter how small the context. The gesture matters … the still small voice. The post I wrote yesterday was uncomfortable for me, even without crossing (current, changing) boundaries or sharing too much. Yet, last night I slept incredibly deeply, without anxiety. InContinue reading “Use your words”

Variations on a Dream

I am walking from ‘the house’ toward the front gate on familiar chipped square tiles. I encounter three ferociously barking rottweilers. They are to the right of the path, in the part of the yard where one of the avocado trees rains down the largest leaves. I feel afraid. I wake. —– I am walkingContinue reading “Variations on a Dream”

Honoring the Space as Object

Ah hah! Learning about natural-looking spray tan, cute t-shirt tricks, and magic moisturizer brands is fun, and as I wrote before, nicely distracting from terribly serious matters on my mind as of late! BUT, since consciously deciding to linger in a ‘clean slate’ sort of space, I want to be careful not to fill thatContinue reading “Honoring the Space as Object”

The Blank Slate

As you see, bolder formatting is temporarily gone from this site. I’ve stripped it down while making changes, but also to symbolize my current state. In meditation this morning, the theme of faith arose. Unkind thoughts were present – an argument I’ve been having with someone for as long as I can remember… feelings ofContinue reading “The Blank Slate”