exposure, grief & integration

In some ways I have to recognize fragments of myself out there, reflections of my own valuing and idolizing without question and not wanting to know more. And I have to wish for their personas to be shattered to themselves as well, so the patterns don’t perpetuate indefinitely. [“me too”]

What we cherish

“No bigger than a jelly bean and shot through with a web of delicate imperfections, it wasn’t something most women would write home about. Still, I found its warm, pink glow irresistible.” – Christian L Wright, in an article for Conde’ Nast titled, “How to Hunt for Gems” Christian L Wright wrote the above lines…

Romancing the Woo

I try to keep in mind the ‘decidedly non-woo’ when I write blog posts about meditation or insight, because there isn’t much out there aimed at secular practitioners of contemplative arts, aside from some (great) Zen practices like koan study and Just Sitting. That said, I think it shows sometimes, that I’m holding myself back,…

Holding/Not Holding

I couldn’t hold on to the sounds, but I would generate a trace memory of the sound that would trick me occasionally, that would seem to be me holding onto the sound…

Recovery

Flu. I feel so vulnerable during and just after illness, as though my will has failed in a small way, just to show me nothing is in my control…

One Last Time

I’m terrible at goodbyes. Perhaps I’ve never seen one modeled well. I’ve always found it hard to be clear and just let go. I inevitably leave things sort of half undone for a while, hoping against hope that things will make sense of themselves.

curses and milennial gaps

Sitting on kitchen counters, we talked about spirituality and religion, especially visualization, and differences between devotion and reification. Then we moved on to politics and gender pronouns, before social media, but especially Tumblr.

sneaky mind

Having decided to spend more time blogging and away from Facebook in the coming year, this morning I searched and scrolled through random blogs. I’m curious about how to build a real sense of community through this notes-in-a-bottle-from-disparate-islands medium, and to see what balances people find for themselves with regard to their blogging identities. For…

Dear Facebook (looking forward, 2018 –> 2019)

Social media originally felt intimate to me… as though I could incorporate socializing with people and daily functioning, in a warm and interesting manner. It was almost seamless, also people-affirming and life-affirming in a way that took the edge off of not working in a company or having much family, much less in town. And like endless university in some ways, learning so much. ..