Mourning, Love

Upon updating my Gesture of Great Love post from weeks ago, and writing about Avilokitesvara, I’ve become thoughtful about the notion of mourning, and the way that, if allowed, mourning can make way for what I’ll call for now, transcendent tenderness. This may be related too, to what Trungpa Rinpoche called the genuine mind ofContinue reading “Mourning, Love”

great love

Reading a book titled Gesture of Great Love, the newest in the Time Space Knowledge series by Tarthang Tulku. It’s quite a different tone from TSK (my ‘favorite’), and Immediately and refreshingly arrives at the necessary urgent tone for our times. It somehow also has a friendly feeling, similar to a book given to meContinue reading “great love”

inappropriate tears

Wonderful practice session this morning, still ongoing really, since I come to write just after meditating. The rhythms and music and feeling of the practice were guiding, leading into a sense of reaching deeply into light… light in the sense of lightness rather than brightness. The subtlety and beauty of this place, indeed the placeContinue reading “inappropriate tears”

refuge

I’ve long been drawn to the biblical story of Mary and Martha, to contrasting characters’ modes of action. I think of myself as having strong Mary tendencies while admiring Martha-type industriousness from a far, but many who know me in daily life might disagree. Anyway, these two came to mind because with sudden urgency IContinue reading “refuge”

High Volume

Waking while dreaming another family related dream. Why now? This time I was visiting my sister and her husband. I arrived wearing clothing very far from my wheelhouse: white faux fur coat, boots, and perfectly curled high-volume hair. I was greeted very warmly by them… except that everything I touched had to be erased rightContinue reading “High Volume”

The Absurdist

Various components of the absurd are discussed in the academic literature and different theorists frequently concentrate their definition and research on different components. On the practical level, the conflict underlying the absurd is characterized by the individual’s struggle to find meaning in a meaningless world. The theoretical component, on the other hand, emphasizes more theContinue reading “The Absurdist”

Psychological Doomscrolling

I may be toward the end of this stint in therapy. It’s a little hard to tell because, when doesn’t one need to feel heard? When doesn’t one need to hear themselves more clearly? But, I also don’t want to always be examining tendencies and unraveling patterns. There are times to just cut through. IContinue reading “Psychological Doomscrolling”

How to be Estranged

I came to the end today. Two years and eight hundred pages since starting the journal I titled How to be Estranged when reeling from my grandfather’s death and my mother’s overdue abandonment. I love the way I’ve written this, including for the first time photos and more creative writings with the worries of theContinue reading “How to be Estranged”

degrees of freedom

The world is perceived as an apparent objective reality when the mind is externalized, thereby abandoning its identity with the Self. When the world is thus perceived the true nature of the Self is not revealed: conversely, when the Self is realized the world ceases to appear as an objective reality.-Ramana Maharashi | Indian sageContinue reading “degrees of freedom”

flying under

A wee-small-hours of the morning dream stayed with me throughout the day, which is unusual on a work day, when I generally shift into such an entirely different gear so as to forget almost everything else. Often before work I sit in my car for a small meditation, hold an intention to bring that energyContinue reading “flying under”