I’ve finally reached the point in therapy where we talk about present challenges. Although up to now there has been present application, such as talking about work life and not allowing mental “issues” to undo or undermine present intentions, almost always we end up back with childhood conditioning and trauma. We mostly acknowledge those things,Continue reading “true form”
Author Archives: StephC
One year-ish later…
My goodness, it’s been nearly a year since I’ve written here! Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, but I didn’t mean to drop the blog altogether. Whisper: I’ve written a journal which amounts to a small book in that time (roughly 50,000 words now), mischievously titled How to be Estranged. I may share pieces of itContinue reading “One year-ish later…”
On the turning away…
Having drained my storehouse of podcasts while home during peak pandemic, I went searching and remembered Buddhist Geeks, a modern, techie philosophical podcast I let drop years ago, in favor of a more Vajrayana focus. They’re still going, talking about psychedelics a lot (which many seem to be doing, almost as much as bitcoin), butContinue reading “On the turning away…”
karma
Once, I killed a mosquito in a dream. I woke feeling fearfully responsible, puzzled I could do such harm (it felt quite serious) even when (especially when) unconscious, even when there was no choice in the matter at all. In my waking life, I try not to kill flies or mosquitos, but what occurred inContinue reading “karma”
all the little things
When I came out of my first stint in therapy, I had the sense it had been a mere stepping stone to the higher way of meditation I’d begun practicing there. Whereas therapy would leave me drained and sad a lot of the time, contemplative study elevated my outlook and stirred innate playfulness. I laughedContinue reading “all the little things”
just visiting
A note stuck to my computer reads, “I hope you’re well, and that the new year will be kind to you.” It’s a line that seems personal, as though taken from a longer letter, but was pulled from a 2010 workshop chat log at the start of 2020, when I needed to remember the feelingContinue reading “just visiting”
distinctly American
Everything is rightfully about Coronavirus now, but I find myself looking over the present moment’s shoulder, more concerned about pandemics and other catastrophes to come than this one. The scariest thing is that my country keeps proving itself so childish in the way we handle big things. Our system prides itself on having breathing roomContinue reading “distinctly American”
On the dark side
Fantastic interview on the Waking Up app: The Dark Side of Meditation. I’ve listened twice so far while multitasking, inevitably missing out on portions, but, this topic rarely comes up. Let’s face it, in our day-to-day circles there are already enough detractors, so who wants to fill the space with downsides? Nonetheless, it may beContinue reading “On the dark side”
Quest Modeling
Although I originally subscribed to the newsletter How to Save the World because I was researching a project the writer was involved in, I came to appreciate his writing and sincerity. His awakening has felt to parallel mine at times: starting off with a strong desire to seed change in the world, then with deeperContinue reading “Quest Modeling”
appreciation practice
Warm sunlight streams through soft applause ~ Leaves and branches. An unidentifiable fragrance Sallies forth ~ On cool January winds. Inside, Sheer white curtains flutter ~ My thoughts too. Figs, pears, blueberries Fresh cream and ginger ~ Brightly green, popping peas. Alertly sitting on cushions of glistening rice ~ Evoking fields of water, and occasionalContinue reading “appreciation practice”
~ Singing Gecko 