REALLY SHALLOW STUFF

Okay! So, after several deeper posts about coming to terms with loss and the complexities of relationships, I thought to share some REALLY SHALLOW STUFF! Sound fun? I hope so, since that is what is about to happen. 😉 The other day I shared that my biggest antidote for over-thinking and malaise these days, is…

One Day

I’ve been rather (overly?) ‘thought’ful in my writing here of late. So much has been on my mind that I’m not sure whether or how to talk about, and until I am sure, I’ve decided to try to work it out in other ways. Retail work has been the most surprising of those ways… getting…

The way you sip your tea…

I’ve been working a lot since my grandfather died, keeping occupied, a la “Don’t look down.” It isn’t exactly his death which has been scary to me at some deep level, but what his stepping out of the way reveals about what remains… what a life might amount to and mean to others. Or not….

Onward.

The 16 year old car I’ve been sharing with my son has had it… its very latest expression of resistance being the driver’s side door, which will only close after a 5 part dance of pray, jiggle, shake, pull, and finally, slam. This, on top of the finicky gas reader, the loud whistle just slightly…

Winds

Deep loss is so revealing. Although through meditation practices and commitment to examined living/examined mind, it is possible to live with a great degree of open-awareness, nothing quite shows up ‘who you are’ like loss does. Thus I’ve found losing my grandfather to be a place of deep vulnerability, more like an inverted mountaintop than…

stop means go

A family of cardinals has been visiting the little second-story balcony of our rented apartment since February. Only one wears the bright red that clearly signifies *cardinal*, with the other three more brown-toned, often fluffed and lively in their chattering. One of the brown-toned cardinals sports bits of orange too, as though going through a…

Zeroing In

So, I’ve been doing shadow work–contemplative work which includes intentionally going into the emotional places I’d rather (and usually do) avoid, and searching around in there to see, “What still hurts?” Basically, it’s a check up. In the same way, I have a shoulder issue which bothers me occasionally, but only when and if I’m…

Don’t answer that

It’s been a while, but I need to write. About loss this time. Maybe I’m always writing about loss. How to reconcile with losing. Losing to those I was taught we should not be losing to especially, justice weeping endlessly. Losing to time. Constantly losing to time. Losing to the weight of expectations, and to…

Unthinkable

Then I learned that her main gig is that of a teacher… currently working in an immigrant detention center not too far from me…

Fathers, Legends and Queens

I spent a lot of Fathers’ Day watching films, beginning with Rocketman as a promise to my daughter, who loved it so much that she paid to see it three times. Then, wishing to make comparisons, I rented Bohemian Rhapsody., which I’d walked wide circles around before, failing to imagine how anyone could do Freddie’s…