I let the weekend pass by without writing, too preoccupied to string thoughts together sensibly with the correct measures of thought for others, the big picture, my little self. I’m worried about things: my country, my judgment, our systems of justice, overall stamina to rise to the occasions arising. And of course the just day-to-day. A woman on twitter wrote that the country often seems like an abused spouse to her, walking on eggshells trying to find ways to mitigate the chaos constantly. Her image has stuck in my mind.
Simultaneously, I try to seat myself ‘in the light’, so to speak. Without closing my eyes to the above, I find ways to root myself into ‘this very existence’ through play and loving energy with others, making a celebration out of ‘whatever is at hand’, be it silly or profound.
A friend with an ill son once said this to me: that when he was healthy, their family wasted no second finding ways to express *the life*. Her Jewish ancestors had taught her this wisdom of hesitating not at all. Which may be why I’ve been taking refuge in music like I did when, young and feeling caged, I thought my life would forever be small. I have been a hesitator during my much of adult life, perhaps due to early conditioning, but the exceptions have been ‘being in flow’, especially with others, and frankly, when young and high in some way (a lot of the time).
And… music is flow… highs are there, but also lows, communion and telepathy. I’ve been getting myself back to the garden playing dozens of small documentaries around the apartment while sorting and working. There are lots easily streamed, among them Jeff Beck, Prince, Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, Abba, ELO, and Joni Mitchell.
“My” oldest daughter is moving away, which keeps hitting me over and over again… seeing her at every stage of life, hearing her voice, trying to wrap my mind around the idea of connecting over the (yuk) phone. No matter how not-Zen it may be, sometimes I DO want to go back, but also must flow with the changes, align with the possibilities.
Thankfully Life’s offers many makeshift time machines!
This may be burying the lead, but speaking of time machines (ha ha), today the first photo of a black hole was shared with the public. To capture the photo, a fascinating collaboration of telescopes was needed, as were the right conditions. If the black hole had been flaring, no image may have been captured, even with so much preparation.
This is where we are, with all the big puzzles of our time – *more* cooperation is needed, not less.
For those who love words, I’d highly recommend listening to the question and answer segment after the unveiling. Answering a student’s question, Shep Doeleman described space time as “flowing through the horizon”, among other wonderful things I’ll spend my day envisioning.