Guess who took a “cosmic channeling” course!
I know, weird, right? I, who overloads and blanks out when confronted with public speaking, even went “LIVE” (with my real face, but in a closed group) to talk about intuition. It was playful, lighthearted, and may have liberated me (even if just for that window of time) from self-seriousnessness dragging down efforts of late. I really needed to PLAY.
What I found most fascinating, was that my usual fear was almost neutralized in this context. Why was that? And can I bottle it somehow?
‘Along the way, I was taken under wing by others in the course who, without hesitation, offered their love and their time freely out of kindness, and because in this context the flow is kept going by sharing. There was an incredibly contagious feeling to it all!
I didn’t change paths in this process; it was more like tapping in a missing puzzle piece, which allowed the more complete picture to be realized.
Yet, I still feel an almost irresistible pull to fit each new component into previously acquired knowledge. I want to justify this kind of exploration without alienating aspects of my ‘quite rational’ self. But the truth is, that’s impossible.
Although the people I met during this process don’t necessarily think in ways I would find concerning, I did follow a few lines of thought that sort of ‘checked’ my assumption there couldn’t be anything but “love and light.” People are embedded within contexts, after all. My main hesitation is that it seems really easy to get sucked into conspiracy theories I felt could manipulate well-meaning, perhaps mentally or emotionally vulnerable people. I traveled down some rabbit holes when searching for new terms, and was newly astounded by how deeply political agendas can infiltrate.
Still, I do hope many others will come to the kind of place I find myself, no matter how proselytizing that sounds: uniquely personal practices, uniquely tailored expressions, and cultivating the patience to let the energy of those expressions and practices come forward without owning or making them permanent in any way.
In that regard, the course was a gift, loosening aims or expectations of changing minds in favor of communing with hearts, which is something I’d almost forgotten how to do, 2+ years into trying to keep up with our times of political dissent. I’m weary, I guess, resisting, and need to find ways to recharge and restore my joy about this life, myself, and the people around me.
There’s so much going on underneath that can be affected, even when the surface feels intractable.
The metaphors and language of everything as energy, and expressions of energies arising and passing away all the time that we can channel/give voice to, hold a sensible, lively harmony. We become instruments for and with each other, and what might once have been taken as objects, become more like musical notes with fluid boundaries flowing through (what Buddhists would call) our mindstreams.