I get it! I get the magic of NaNoWrimo! It is this: that even after finishing, and even after finishing without winning the big prize (50,000 words), I want to write and keep writing, a lot, just for the feeling of writing, just for that joy at hand.
It wasn’t being skeptical of the process that kept me away, but that I didn’t want to shift motivation for the way that I write, toward word count. I can be obsessive, and didn’t want to be wordy, writing for accumulation, as if partaking in a sport. I write for the art of it, bla bla. 😉
I really do.
ALSO for all kinds of other reasons.
This being my first year, I had only two writing “buddies” and attended just one “write-in”, the latter of which I attended for mother-daughter bonding at first, since she has been a steady NaNoWrimo-er for twelve (!) years [by the way, she won! >woot<].
If not for her, I probably would not have jumped in at all, because I already write SO MUCH and for SO MANY reasons:
1 – I’m rather shy, or something like shy, and am thus more comfortable, more adept at, expressing my ideas and feelings in writing.
2 – I often then throw away that writing so that no one will ever see how supercilious I can be, or how many gaps I’m making up for.
3 – I write for my work, which I love (sincerely, it isn’t like anyone I work for/with is reading this!). It gives me the chance to muse with big concepts and lots of data. And it can be challenging–having to be organized in clear ways–few abstract experiments!
4 – My interests are so peculiar that I’ve found that people who are interested in the same things often live far away.
5 – Writing has, from earliest memory of being able to write, been the way I work out my
thoughts and feelings issues. I write to heal.
6 – But mostly it’s the shy thing. Whether the ‘shy thing’ is an authenticity (ie FEAR) thing, I’m still working out.
So all of that as not quite an apology but an appreciation, for those who get it, too. NaNoWrimo really IS about getting into the joy and juiciness of daily practice, working on something that comes from oneself.