Today’s meditation at the library was more chaotic than usual. There was an issue with a generator that began making an upsetting noise as soon as we began.
Due to past training I guess, for me there was a humor about it. It was distracting and I would have liked for it to stop, but it wasn’t upsetting like it was for another meditator. I did let my mind wander though, thinking of stories of teachers like Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche arriving late to a gathering, to annoyance in the air… but in this, a chaotic energy to work with.
So in a sense, as the meditation leader told us today, what we engaged in was an advanced practice.
I like this group more each week. I like the way our facilitator says there are no gurus, and that even the ‘leader’ of the organization, who is an 101 year old woman, calls herself ‘student.’ Why they wear almost all white I am curious about, whether it is symbolic or expected, and I’m curious about what I haven’t seen or heard yet. There is a workshop this weekend, out of the context of the library, and perhaps more will unfold.
When the meditation was less than smooth today, I did wonder if it was my energy contributing somehow. Most of the week, with household repairs and various interruptions, along with my making a low-energy decision that carried over into the next several days only dissipating today, things seemed choppy although not unpleasant, and actually there was progress made in some areas that were needed.
Still, the thought did niggle at me. 🙂
Some say that when we open spiritually it can have a real effect on physical surroundings; the first time I read that was in the context of Kundalini yoga. I remember wishing to have come across the materials much sooner, since by that time I’d been working through confusion about experiences of awakening for several years, and without hearing much at all that resonated personally.
Opening to opening.